


Boy Crush

by johnnyzbabe



Category: Backstreet Boys
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-06
Updated: 2015-07-06
Packaged: 2018-04-07 21:47:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4279116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnnyzbabe/pseuds/johnnyzbabe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off of the Little Big Town song Girl Crush.  AJ reflects on his failed relationship with Kevin after Kevin's marriage to Kristin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Boy Crush

**Author's Note:**

> Changed the name because after I thought about it a little bit. Seems more closely to a Boy Crush.

_I got a girl crush/Hate to admit it but/I got a heart rush/It's slowing down/I got it real bad/Want everything she has/That smile and that midnight laugh/She's giving you now_

It was so hard to see him walk down that aisle. I don’t know why but I always thought that it would be him and I one day walking down that aisle. We would say those same words in front of God, family, and friends. I should have known when he said that he went to talk to father during one of our few breaks we got in those years. While on the road it was him and I satisfying those needs and urges for each other. The other Boys kind of knew but didn’t really say anything to either of us. Although, Brian would quietly ask me if I knew what I was doing and looking back I think I really didn’t and that was why I drowned my feelings for him. 

_I want to taste her lips/Yeah, 'cause they taste like you/I want to drown myself/In a bottle of her perfume/I want her long blonde hair/I want her magic touch/Yeah, 'cause maybe then/You'd want me just as much/I got a girl crush/I got a girl crush_

I would always want to kiss her right after she would kiss him. That way I still got my fix of him, he was like a new addiction. That was one that I could never get rid of, no matter how many women I ‘dated’ or took to my bed. They all looked like him in one way or another. Whether it was the dark hair, the smell something like his cologne mixed with her perfume or even freakier was the brows on some of the women. It was always women after him. I could safely say that was just Kevin-sexual other men weren’t attractive to me in a sexual way that he was to me. I guess it was my way of getting him again by bedding those women or to make him notice me again.

_I don't get no sleep/I don't get no peace/Thinking about her/Under your bed sheets/The way that she's whispering/The way that she's pulling you in/Lord knows I've tried,/I can't get her off my mind_

I have pretty much become an insomniac after rehab but after Kevin got married and stayed married it got worse. Staying up nights watching videos on you tube of him signing. He was this intense quiet performer unlike Nick that would fall on him knees with the ‘emotion’ of the song or whatever he usually mumbled to us. With Kevin he would just get in this groove when the music was flowing through him. I know we all make fun of him for singing with his eyes closed most of the time. Especially after an over-zealous fan got on stage and wrapped her arms around him. Along with the online videos I would imagine what she has that I don’t, especially in the bed. I know that nobody could satisfy me the way he could and still can. If only they never wanted to have a family I could still imagine him in my bed leaning over me whispering what he wanted to do to me in that deep sex voice he gets when in the heat of passion.

_I want to taste her lips/Yeah, 'cause they taste like you/I want to drown myself/In a bottle of her perfume/I want her long blonde hair/I want her magic touch/Yeah, 'cause maybe then/You'd want me just as much/I got a girl crush/I got a girl crush/Hate to admit it but/I got a heart rush/It ain't slowing down_

Again I always kiss her after him and smell her long blonde hair since it has mingled scents of her perfume, his cologne, and actually his shampoo as well. Then run to the nearest private space to get her off my mind and get you back on it. Maybe one day I will actually accomplish one thing. Drown myself in her perfume and then this crush will finally have ended its haunting hold on me.

**Author's Note:**

> As always views are welcomed. Please leave a little note on what you may think happened.


End file.
